Circling Back

 Alright. Last month's update was lazy.

The update before that was probably lazy, and the writing I've been doing recently? If we're being honest? A bit lazy.

I'm not saying my Glory Days are behind me. 1) I'm still excited for this YA project, which is not called My Brother is Not a Turtle. 2) The Visibility Trick (and the Mr. Doberman Universe, in general) has been received well by my friends and relations who haven't been LAZY, and have decided to actually read it.* 3) 101 Ways to Love Yourself Badly: Poems About Narcissism is a stupid pet project that might just be amazing and brilliant. 4) And so on. But the writing I started in college was ... different. I was more immersed. It was written first longhand, with fancy pens. It was heavier, and meant more. So, well. Yeah? Maybe my Glory Days are behind me.

I AM THE SHERIFF is the novel I asked the library to shelve. That is the story the tone and tenor of which match By Thirds: the short story that won the Arthur Lynn Andrew Prize at Cornell University, and which I am still flirting with ways to present to you. So today, right now, my message is this: don't be lazy. Circle back. Pick up I AM THE SHERIFF if you haven't already. That is my best work, and you ought not be deprived of it.

Have a poem for your troubles:

I AM THE SHERIFF

Less massive than a loaf of bread,

And duller than a knife...

You might be tempted to believe

This book won't change your life.

But stranger, it will cut you deep

However strong you were.

Whatever weight you used to life,

This book is heavier.

And it will not let up until

You puddle on the floor.

Whereupon it will sit with you...

But leave you wanting more.

*It's the footnotes that throw some folks. To which I say: tough.

My Brother is Not a Turtle

 ... is just one of the many discarded title ideas for the new YA WIP. The working title right now is: The Unsuper Alliance.

Mr. Doberman is back. Mr. Oswald is ... sort of back? Vengeance is also a word.

Stay tuned.

July has come. July is going...

But which way is the wind blowing?

Well... it isn't, much. We are in a period of doldrums, A.K.A. The World Cup, and Christopher hasn't been writing. Shame on Christopher! But as the soccer underdogs drop out one by one, heart-wrenchingly, in stoppage time, and via MANY questionable calls, someone is going to have to tell a story about long odds and perseverance. I mean, it's got to happen. Right?

Stay tuned.

I Suppose It's June, Eh?

 I've mostly given up on social media, friends. Or has social media given up on me?

My last three Threads have garnered an impressive 6 views between them. That's twice as dismal as the traffic this blog has been dragging in.

Oh well. I will become visible one day. (Or I won't. I think that's all the options.)

The local library has received my hardcover copy of I AM THE SHERIFF, and it is in its system and ready to be checked out. There is your exciting news. I have yet to go and find it on the shelf, but when I do I will take a shelfie and post it everywhere.

Probably.

It might get 6 views!!

Shield Your Eyes

Lisa thought it was time I update my author photo to something that wasn't over a decade out of date. (For those of you who don't know, Lisa is my better half. All the important, smart, brave, and beautiful bits of the Listopher tandem.) So... my author pic is only several years old now, predating my LASIK surgery and several dozen haircuts.

Also I demand that you never look at it.

Any questions?

Not much has happened since last we didn't talk. Oh... except WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND A BOOK ON THE SHELF AT HIS LOCAL LIBRARY? THIS GUY.

D2D Rant (Not to be confused with the dragon RPG game.)

Well... they decided to tax the little guy (Draft2Digital, that is.) $10/year, which is nothing. Which is .5% of what my buddy paid for an editor. And only if you make less than $100 in royalties.

Guess what? I'm out.

It's the principle of the matter. It's the $0 budget I refuse to compromise. Am I stingy? Yes. Will this keep me in the black? Also yes.

Also... going wide with no visibility was not helping me. Now my Threads bestie will be able to get the 2 books I was distributing through D2D on Kindle Unlimited (KU) for free. (And knowing her... she will.) So this is not the end of my author journey... it is just my unfortunate endorsement of a platform I don't admire because I've failed to find another good choice. Free is free, and penniless is penniless. The show must go on.

There is one more perk.

In the process of closing my D2D account I realized that my favorite part - the universal book links (UBLs) are still available for free through Books2Read, which is sort of like affiliated to D2D but doesn't require a D2D account? I don't know. You're asking a geriatric Millennial.

Anyway... so I did a thing, which was that I made UBLs for ALL my books*, and then made a custom B2R author Page - which is sleek, and which I like. Check it out in all its sleekness and likability:

http://www.books2read.com/Christopher-Beyers

I undouble dog dare you not to click on the link.

That's all for now. Cheers,

Chris

*6 of 8. The others you won't find unless you hunt for them. Heh.

Well, We're Still Here...

My newest book, 101 Ways to Love Yourself (badly): poems about narcissism, may not be my newest book for long.

But for a little while at least. (Alternate titles include Raise Your Hand if You're Me: poems about narcissism, and Laugh at the Narcissist: poems and essays. Like them? Hit the comments.)

Movement has been slow on the editing. Meanwhile: I've started a YA project in the A Mr. Doberman universe. Meanwhile: POTUS wants to blow up the human being universe, where we actually live and breathe.

That's been a little hard for me re: the writing process. I'm not going to lie.

If you want to know more about POTUS wanting to blow up the human being universe, where we actually live and breather, the 15 sonnets I posted last month read consecutively make up a heroic crown. "The Jewel-less Crown" is the master sonnet.

Thanks for living. Thanks for breathing.

Cheers,

Chris