November Update?

This morning I had to slow down for exactly two pedestrians and neither of them came within six inches of my bumper. I was beeped at not at all, and the streets went TWO WAYS.

Good Lord I hate cities!

Anyway...

This November's bit of rambling is more of a non-update, fulfilling a recent commitment I made, here, to post more often than once every dozen years.

Let's see...

• I am on BlueSky now, a social media site not unlike the platform formally known as Twitter, but with a less obnoxious CEO. Maybe you found this blog because you're following me? (Doubtful. I have 4 followers. More likely you're just really good at finding things.) The BlueSky account is supposed to be for promoting my writing projects. Yeah. So, um. "Supposed" is a word.
• I post on BlueSky just often enough not to be obnoxious. Which is to say, far too often. I won't bother telling you my handle if you've already found my blog. But post it in the comments and I'll ... I don't know. Compliment you on your amazing sleuthing skills!
• The books I have in print are still in print, and Amazon is still the best place to buy them (for me, because I get higher royalties... and for you, because they're cheaper). It is slightly easier to edit i.e. my book metadata on Amazon as well, which is a mouthful which means you get slightly more fancy dance caveats if you buy from Amazon plus a cover (and cover content) that I marginally prefer.
• If you've read my books and you like them, please please please WRITE A REVIEW. (I appreciate you in advance.) YOU CAN EVEN REVIEW ME IN ALL CAPS ON TRUTH SOCIAL. Although I wouldn't advise it. You might get confused with ... someone else. (Normal speak on Amazon would be lovely.)
• If you're an author-type and you have a Page, or a Blog, or a Website, throw me a comment. I'd probably be thrilled to swap samples/informal reviews/hyperlinks/virtual high-fives and words of moral supportation with you. (Let's support each other! With [supportation]!)

UBLs, Baby!

Okay, I realize the percentage of the population who knows what a UBL is might be ... somewhat minute. The U stands for Universal. The B stands for Book. And the L stands for Link. (Slightly higher now?)

As of today, two of the books from that list I blogged at you previously have gone live, and they are available in all the forms (ebook, paperback, hardcover). Well, except for audiobook. (I think I'd have to generate some real, vested interest before I embark on something as daunting as an audiobook. But, have you Heard Michael Sera Read a Story (down below)? It could be doable. So go ahead ... goad me.)

If ebooks are not your thing, and you want to spring for a print version of one of my books, a request. Consider buying it from Amazon? Don't ask me why, but Amazon gives me about 700% royalties compared to all other distributors. Oh, and the books are slightly cheaper there.

If you want an ebook, it doesn't matter one whit to me who you buy it through. You might not wish to choose Amazon, because the ebook is slightly more expensive there. No biggie! The print versions do have certain bells and whistles that you won't get from an ebook. They don't save trees, however.

Without further adieu, here are the UBLs:

https://books2read.com/b/b5nX6R

(The Visibility Trick)

https://books2read.com/b/bWJQL7

(Sticks in the Snow)

72 Hours (fingers crossed)...

 

Incoming!

 So yeah, my intention is not to post here every couple of days.

Once a month, maybe? And hopefully I don't forget?

But I may keep up a mini-flurry in the short-term. Because in a heartbeat - on an evolutionary timescale - or in forever and a day - from the perspective of a flea - I will be releasing 5 new titles for your perusal, which are (chronologically):

SHORT and SWEET and INCOMPLETE: This Walking Memeplex

I am the Sheriff

The Second Coming of Christina

The Visibility Trick

Sticks in the Snow

The last two (chronologically) will be the first two released. They are a two-book series ("a Mr. Doberman adventure"), and I have the cover art (courtesy of Lisa). So, the internal excitement is being to mount. I don't really know what to do with it, though. How about you? Would you like to siphon some of this excitement off?

Not too long ago I chose an inauspicious time to delete my Facebook and mostly eschew social media. It may turn out to be colossally stupid. Now, choosing to self-publish and self-promote as I am, I am in the unenviable position of trying to attract strangers with no platform to speak of.

If YOU want to help, I welcome any and all sharing of links to this blogspot, which itself will soon contain links to book pages for [at least the latter 2 of] my 5 new titles. Who knows? Maybe this could be the stuff of your Christmas list.

I'm Not Quite Dead, Yet

 The title says it all.

I'm pulling a Monty Python from the back of the cart. I may look downtrodden, possibly sickly, and surrounded by plague. But I hereby declare my alive-ness.

It has been about a dozen years since the release of The Almost Crime. Wow! I've collected ... one royalty check. This Blog has probably generated hits in the ... ones. So of course reviving it is the only course that makes sense. 'He who hesitates is lost! Or she! Aye!' When one has such humble beginnings, one mustn't start over.

Since my last post, I have improved upon This Walking Memeplex. In fact, I'm working on it now. But I have been busy in other ways. Busy, like raising kids. Busy, like playing pickleball. Busy, like moving twice. My bio says I live in Central PA and own a guinea pig. I don't, and I don't ... but I have a dog now. Her whine is very high-pitched, and could almost be confused for wheeking.

For now I think I'll leave the description like it is.

How much do you really need to know about me?

Let's circle back to This Walking Mememplex, a project that started in 2012 or 2013 and has technically not yet been completed. Do you remember those field trips to the art museum as a kid? Who am I kidding. If you're reading this, you probably are a kid. Technology being what it is...

OK. So... do you remember that trip to the art museum last week?

You may have seen a painting or two that took "a couple years" to complete. When I heard that, I imagined an old man standing in one position with a paintbrush.

Well, here's the truth. I am a middle-aged man, thank you very much. And I have not been standing in one position with a paintbrush. I haven't even been hunched over in one position with a typewriter. What I've done this morning is have breakfast ... give this blog a little bit of emergency CPR ... and I'm about to go play pickleball.

As a matter of fact, This Walking Memeplex is not the only project I've had in the works over the last dozen years. I have also finished the following books you've never heard about:

I am the Sheriff

The Second Coming of Christina

The Visibility Trick

Sticks in the Snow

More about these projects to come. Hopefully, by the time I'm done, you will have heard about them.

Have a lovely day, whoever you are. And read on.

This Walking Memeplex

I'm not sure I've decided what the function of this blog is supposed to be, precisely: whether it is supposed to be about me, or about The Almost Crime, or a little bit of both.

But whatever it is, this certainly isn't it.

But, whatever! Because I have an announcement to make, and it's exciting: I've just completed a sort-of memoir, in which I've almost bared my soul.

I'm not sure if it's going to be published, or when. Stay tuned.

After it comes out, though, or after I've spent some time mulling it over: I also plan, officially, to start work on the sequel to the book I'm supposed to be promoting, here. I've already written the first chapter, or the second (I do everything in the wrong order!). I'll consider putting a preview up, too, if there's enough popular demand.

Let me know, folks.

-C.R.B.

Hear Michael Cera Read a Story

I have to give famous actors a lot of credit: none of them really look like me. (I have never ever been mistaken as famous.)

But when Juno was released, I heard quite a few times, from at least a handful of sources, that (and, “-oh my God...”) I sound like Michael Cera. This fact became more of a reality for me when I heard recordings of my own voice, like the one I want to share with you now. So, what the heck. Let’s milk this thing.

Here, Michael Cera reads a story. (Link will direct you to YouTube, where I read Chapter 1 of The Almost Crime.)

There are other imbedded, dubious honors in this blog post. Have you ever wanted to look up an author’s nose? Here’s your chance! You get to see my head larger, even, then it is in life – because that’s the only way I could get close enough to the microphone for you to hear me. And my wife’s lovely wedding decorations are hanging on the wall, in the background. I take full credit for showing them to you.

***

Let me share something with you about YouTube, if you’re thinking about making a debut: it’s weird! For one thing, it’s very, very easy to show yourself to the world. I thought, “Perhaps I’ll do a reading on YouTube.” And thirty minutes later, I had the thing itself.

For another, you only have a couple of choices. There is a button for “Record,” and once you’ve Recorded, your only choices are, “Upload” (go live, to everyone) and “Restart” (erase everything you’ve done, so far). There is about as much room for error as there is during an audition, or an interview. I didn’t realize this until I did it!

Bellow* is a complete list of links of all the YouTube clips I’ve uploaded, so far. (New links will be posted, as they appear.) Please take note of all my mistakes, so you can learn vicariously through me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1VL6TRPR6w (Chapter 1)

*I made this mistake about a million times, when I was working as an assistant science teacher in Indianapolis, In. and was creating assignments. I leave the typo here as just one more example of what not to do.